Story of life

Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today,
my tummy hurts and I feel down,
I need her right away…,
operator can you tell me how to find her in this book??
Is Heaven in the yellow part, I don’t know where to look…

I think my daddy needs her too, at night I hear him cry…
I her him call her name sometimes, but I really don’t know why.
Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me.

Is Heaven very far away?
Is it accross the sea?
She’s been gone a long, long time, she needs to come home now!!
I really need to reach her, but I simply don’t know how.

Help me find the number please…
Is it listed under ‘Heaven’??
I can’t read these big big words…, I am only seven.

I’m sorry operator, I didn’t mean to make you cry..
Is your tummy hurting too??
Or is there something in you eye?

If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help that’s where we should go.
I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall.
Thank you operator, I’ll give them a call…

………

Everything seems to be so bright
and on that right moment…
seems to freeze, not moving as usual
even the clock eagerly moves backward
except for what’s  pounding inside…
they become stronger and faster
showing their will to see it themself…
It’s your smile…

Hear the soundless sound
   and see the formless form.

At a glance,
   read your opponents’s mine
   and attain victory without contention

      - the secret of martial arts -

The night is never sleep
The moon is always glim
Guide us on our path of darkness
so we won’t be lost
and the stars will always shine
paint the sky to cheer us
so we won’t be worried
but tonight is different…
A new and special star has arise
in the northern sky, it show itself
its bright light completes the night
fills the space that has been empty for a long time
… just by saying I love you…
you love me like I do to you…thank you

(a special feeling..Decembre ‘99)

Hello my love,

I find you quite happy nowadays and I’m really happy for you. Yesterday we talked about you and me, you didn’t know how sad I am to remember all those painful memories but I’m happy… ’cause finally I can say it out loud to you, how great my love is to you and hear how you understood.

If only we were put in a different situation where there were no boundaries for your love and mine, I would love you forever, I would be faithful to you with all my heart and all my love.

but now, even though I can’t feel your love, I still do love you and I’ll take care of you, just sit back and watch you from far. I believe you will understood, ’cause I simply care for you.

I still leave a small place inside my broken heart just for you so your memories will strengthen me to go on living.

I will always love you, but … without hope….

Love, …yours truly

(November 1998)

Siapapun bisa marah-marah, itu mudah. Tetapi marah pada orang yang tepat, dengan kadar yang sesuai, pada waktu yang tepat, demi tujuan yang benar dan dengan cara yang baik… bukanlah hal yang mudah.

-Aristoteles, The Nicomachean Ethics-